There have been so many mermaids to make splashes on the big screen: from Ariel in The Little Mermaid to Madison in Splash. One group of mermaids though keep coming back again and again. I’m referring to the mermaids that reside in Mermaid Cove of Neverland Island. Every time a new Peter Pan movie comes out, we get to see a new interpretation of our favorite mermaids. Well, I decided to present you with the finest bunch of mermaids and I even ranked them for you. Enjoy.
NUMBER ONE: PETER PAN (1953)
In the classic animated Disney movie, these mermaids are babes. I mean seriously, they play in waterfalls and put flowers in their hair but they don’t look like gross hippies, they look babelicious. These are the OG Neverland mermaids which is why they get ranked Number One.
But let’s not forget they are also straight up jealous bitches. The only reason they get away from being so obviously bitchy is because their hot. If they had legs, they could take over as The Plastics in Mean Girls. I mean, do you remember how they treated Wendy when they first saw her? They seriously tried to drown her. They were all like, “Neverland don’t need another woman up in here tryin’ to steal our man! She gonna die!” When Peter Pan is like, “Yo, hold up ladies! WTF are you doing?” They got all cutesy and twirl their hair and shrug their shoulders. They know how to act all innocent and cute and that charm fools Peter every time. Don’t let that act fool you, Peter!
NUMBER TWO: HOOK (1991)
Okay, now we get some live-action mermaids and these mermaids are muy caliente! I really dig how their fins match their hair. I wonder if they’re born that way or if there is like a booming industry of hair salon’s in the caves of Neverland? These gals find Pan at the bottom of the ocean and they save him by giving him oxygen under water (aka total hot make-out session under the sea). These gorgeous and flirty mermaids are ranked NUMBER TWO because they are the sexiest creatures in this whole movie and they only do nice things, like save lives. Even Julia Roberts (who plays Tinkerbell) can’t compete with the hotness of these mermaids. Watch the whole scene with our mermaid heroes below:
NUMBER THREE: RETURN TO NEVERLAND (2002)
The animated mermaids make a return in Disney’s sequel. This time the story is not about Wendy, but her daughter, Jane. Jane gets kidnapped by Captain Hook and guess who has to come to the rescue? That’s right – good ol’ boy, Peter Pan. I mean, we already know these mermaids are babes and that they’re mad jealous. Just like they tried to drown Wendy, they try to waterboard Jane. Peter sweeps in though and saves her. I ranked these bitches NUMBER THREE because they’re basically like same mermaids I ranked as NUMBER ONE, but just in a movie probably no one has watched. I mean seriously, did you even know this movie was out there? Don’t lie.
NUMBER FOUR: PAN (2015)
Okay. This movie isn’t even out yet and I’m ranking this mermaid. It was reported back in April of this year that smoking hot supermodel, Cara Delevingne, would be playing the role of a Neverland mermaid. There is a Youtube trailer of the film here, but the 22 year old stunner is only featured in it for a few seconds. In those few seconds though she makes quite an impact as her blonde hair fans around her while a hint of her glittery purple tail flashes behind her, which is why I rank her NUMBER FOUR. If I had to chose a mermaid tail, I would want mine to be purple and fucking glittery as fuck.
Pan comes to theaters on October 9th this year so get ready!
NUMBER FIVE: PETER PAN (2003)
I don’t know what P.J. Hogan was thinking when he envisioned what he wanted his Neverland mermaids to be. These bitches are straight up scary! If I was a little girl and I saw one of these blue creatures swim up to me with their webbed hands I would flip out and probably punch it in the head. I mean stylistically, yeah – they are interesting. The webbed hands are probably more realistic — like if scientists ever found a real mermaid, I’m sure it would have features that would make sense for water living creatures. They probably would also have gills on their necks and be covered in seaweed and barnacles; however, this is the my list. If I’m ranking mermaids I’m ranking these horrid creatures NUMBER FIVE (which is dead last). Sorry ladies. I don’t mean to seem superficial, but I am, so deal with it.
NOT EVEN RANKED: FINDING NEVERLAND (2004)
There are NO mermaids in this movie. What? What? You call this Finding Neverland? You need to find yourselves some mermaids and remake this movie! EPIC FAIL!!!!